


Stupid Science Bitch Tries To Make Charlie His Bottom (not really)

by Masterofkarate



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 11:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterofkarate/pseuds/Masterofkarate
Summary: “Stop! Dude! What the fuck! I'm not gay!” Charlie shouted angrily, pushing the stupid Science Bitch away from him.Well, maybe he wasn't that stupid and he wasn't a total bitch. And maybe that wasn't the only lie he just told- but no! He's not gay, he's in love with the waitress after all. Well, he thought he was until he and the scientist started spending time together.





	Stupid Science Bitch Tries To Make Charlie His Bottom (not really)

“Stop! Dude! What the fuck! I'm not gay!” Charlie shouted angrily, pushing the stupid Science Bitch away from him. 

Well, maybe he wasn't that stupid and he wasn't a total bitch. And maybe that wasn't the only lie he just told- but no! He's not gay, he's in love with the waitress after all. Well, he thought he was until he and the scientist started spending time together.

Charlie was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't see the hurt and concern in the scientist's eyes. The other man straightened his jacket out, looking down and away from Charlie while Charlie circled the room.

“I wasn't trying to pressure you into anything,” the scientist said softly when Charlie finally stilled and looked at him for a response. “I'm sorry if you felt that way. And I'm sorry that I seem to have misinterpreted our friendship.”

“You’re sorry? No, dude, what the fuck?” Charlie huffed angrily, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“Excuse me, Charlie? What exactly are you angry about?” The scientist asked.

“I dunno,” Charlie mumbled, fiddling with the hole in his pocket. He could feel his t-shirt through the hole. He knew playing with it would make the hole worse, but he continued. “You're just confusing me, man. First you're trying to make me your bottom bitch, now you're the one acting like the bitch. I'm getting all these mixed signals, my brain's everywhere.”

“Let's sit down?” The scientist suggested. “You can tell me when you felt I was trying to make you my  _ bitch.”  _ The word sounded funny when the scientist said it. Of course, he cursed sometimes, but it was very rare.  Plus, british accents were classy and the scientist was a classy man, but words like bitch never felt too classy to Charlie.

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Charlie sighed. He already flopping down on the scientist’s He made himself small as he curled into the armrest. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and started to with the fraying material. “You got any cheese? How about beer?”

“I have cheese,” the scientist replied. “I'd rather we stay sober minded during this conversation though.”

“I'll take the cheese,” Charlie huffed petulantly. He wanted to argue that one beer would do nothing with his tolerance, but of course the scientist would argue that it's never just one beer with Charlie- and he'd be right. He's always right, Charlie wanted to hate him for that. He didn't though.

After a few moments, the other man reappeared in the room. In his hand, he held a small bowl of shredded cheese. He didn't bother getting Charlie any utensils or anything to put the cheese on, they'd been spending enough time together recently.

Charlie took the bowl without a word and began nibbling, eating with his fingers. He didn't say anything, he didn't want to have this conversation. He wanted to be mad at the stupid science bitch forever, but he wasn't even mad at him at all.

“So, when did you feel I was trying to put you in a position you felt uncomfortable in?” The scientist asked after a few moments of silence.

“I dunno, man. You wanted to go out tonight, like  _ out _ , and you wanted to go somewhere real classy. I'm not the type of dude who goes classy places. It just felt like you were gonna spend all this money on me so I'd have to let you bang me in the ass tonight,” Charlie mumbled. 

He hated how stupid he sounded when he spoke, but it made sense at the time. It really did. Not only because he was used to people always being weird about sex, but the gang's been making constant jokes about his friendship with the scientist- always calling them gay and shit. And that was without them knowing that when he sleeps over they share a bed and cuddle, and the scientist always tries to make Charlie's favorite foods in a healthier way for dinner, and they sometimes kiss each other and Charlie doesn't think the kissing feels gross  _ or _ sticky at all.

“Oh Charlie,” the scientist sighed. He wanted to reach out and caress Charlie's face, but he didn't want to push him too far right now. Charlie was fickle when it came to physical affection, especially when he was upset. “That wasn't my intention at all, dear. I just felt bad that we only spent time together all cooped up in here. I thought it would be fun to do something new and-”

“Like butt stuff?” Charlie cut him off.

“No, no,” the scientist reassured quickly, “Nothing to do with the bedroom. I just thought it would be nice to have a proper date.”

“But if we go on a date, then I'm gay, and if you pay, I have to let you bang my butt, dude. That's how this whole thing works,” Charlie grumbled.

“Well, there is more than just gay and straight, not everything is black and white, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. But if you are gay, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. You've told me you get upset with your friend Mac for not admitting he's gay. Why can he be gay and not you?”

“Because, dude, I don't want you to bang me!” Charlie huffed, frustrated the scientist could not follow his thought process.

“And I don't want to sleep with you if that's not what you want,” the scientist said gently.

“Wait, really? Even if we went out, you wouldn't be like pissed or anything?” Charlie asked in shock.

“No dear, not in the least bit,” the scientist reiterated.

“Why didn't you just tell me that, dude?” Charlie laughed.

“Because you were yelling at me,” the scientist answered honestly.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that, man. I just got all worked up, my thoughts went super fast, so I decided to be mad.”

“It's not productive to lash out whenever you feel strong emotions. Sometimes it can't be helped, but it's something you should think about working on. Wouldn't it have been nice if we could have talked calmly like this from the beginning?”

“I guess,” Charlie mumbled with a shrug. “I'm sorry I had a weird gay freak out.”

“I forgive you, Charlie. Thank you for apologizing. I know it's scary, I'm scared too,” the scientist admitted.

“Are you scared ‘cause I yelled at you?” Charlie asked, looking over at the scientist with concern. He actually had regret in his eyes.

“No, I'm scared because I like you. I don't want to lose you,” the scientist admitted.

“I think I like you too,” Charlie said quietly.

With a smile, the scientist asked, “May I kiss you, Charlie?”

Charlie didn't verbalize his answer, he just leaned forward and gave the other man a peck on the lips. It wasn't sticky and wet, it was warm and soft. There was no pressure behind it, it was gentle and caring. It was a little gay, but it was worth it to Charlie, because it was perfect.


End file.
